Forgetting

what makes you forget besides the burning liquid of life or the round pieces of earth i swallow im used to the feeling of fire i trip my way to the next square piece on the chessboard i watch the … Continue reading

Brick Houses

Im missing those brick houses

that line up like soldiers

standing at attention, staring at the hazy sun

i try on my cocoon for size

it brings a deep un-comfort

that only wise men can know

and i smile a little louder

because thats something only i know

 

these houses looks the same but are

prominent to me

and i wear them on my back

like a fleece blanket

while other places

and other faces stare with shame

Ill only ever know the weight of them

when i stand at attention,

staring back

Haunted Minds

I think that i have something to say.

something that reverberates through my hallow mind.

a haunted mind full of empty thoughts that slip through the cracks of my fingertips

and heavy memories.

The type of memories that keep you suspended in moments

where life feels like a series of flipping images in a two dimensional world.

But these memories and life images are what i remember

and what i hold tucked away in the layers and folds in my heart, between my heart strings and valves, I pump memories through my blood stream.

it is my fix. my life source of comfort and belonging.

I travel far and away from home and those dear to me stay stagnant like statues they wait and freeze in moments that matter

and I can no longer be a part of

all I can do is watch and imagine while Im away and disconnected.

i am a disconnect between what and who i was my entire life and who i am becoming.

I am more of a statue than all of the statues

my suspension is hollow and cold but my heart full of warm remembrances

i live in a small world full of small people

taking comfort in the task of breathing fine morning air

and i take comfort in remembering

My Top 5 Favourite Movie Men

Have you ever just had a huge crush on a fictional character before? Hahaha… me neither…. No but seriously, I can’t help but fall in love every time I watch a movie, old or new. I’ve cried and laughed and fallen in love with tons of characters in movies before, but something about the following men have just captured my heart forever, as cheesy as that sounds. I’m not only recommending the following movies, I’m also recommending the following eye candy. These movies are great of course, but the men, oh the men, they really enhance your viewing experience. This is in no particular order by the way.

1) John Cusack in Say Anything…

 Not only is this film directed by Cameron Crowe, my favourite director of all time, but it has a young and handsome John Cusack in it. I’m a fan of all John Cusack movies, but something about Say Anything is special to me. It has that 80-90s feel, you know what I mean. The boombox, the first tastes of forbidden love and the  great soundtrack Camerone Crowe is known for. John Cusack plays a high school student named Lloyd Dobler, and let me tell you, if the boys at my high school were this cute, I probably wouldn’t have graduated. Correction, I would have REFUSED to graduate. That scene were he wins the girl in the end, you know that famous scene where he holds the boombox outside her window as it plays “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel, it’s the scene where he wins the girl back. What I loved most about Lloyd Dobler was that he thought he didn’t deserve the girl. He thought she was too smart and successful for him, but he tried anyways even though he thought he could never have her. I love Lloyd Dobler. I think because of him, John Cusack will always be one of my favourite people ever.

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2) Patrick Fugit in Almost Famous

Now this movie is my favourite movie off all time. It’s directed and written by Cameron Crowe and it is semi-autobiographical which is the best part. The fact that Cameron Crowe lived and breathed this fantastic movie makes me love the movie and him so much more. He is my favourite director for a reason. Just go watch this movie and you’ll see. Its a coming of age movie about William, played by Patrick Fugit, who wants to be a rock and roll writer. Long story short, he scores a writing gig with Rolling Stone Magazine and meets some amazing and interesting people along the way. Maybe one of the reasons I adore William is because I see so much of who I want to be and what I want to accomplish in him. How cool would it be to write for Rolling Stone Magazine and tour with amazing bands?? REALLY FREAKIN COOL. My favourite scene is the singing on the bus scene. I refuse to say more because SPOILERS ARE NOT OK. Also, the soundtrack might just be a creation from God himself. If you are going to watch any movie on this list, PLEASE let it be this one. It’s on Netflix. Go do it. Now.

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3) Matthew MacFadyen in Pride and Prejudice 

Matthew Macfadyen plays the MR. DARCY. Oh Mr. Darcy. Is there anyone who doesn’t like Mr. Darcy? Well, I guess me kinda. At the beginning of the film anyways. There is something about the brooding and haughtiness that is just so attractive and he truly grows on you as a character. Don’t get me wrong, the older Colin Firth version though…..DAMN. But it’s almost a million hours long so I think this is a good substitution. You still get the full effect but in a shorter time frame. Plus some delicious eye candy (I’m talking Keira Knightely too). If you don’t know what this movie is about, which I’m sure most people do, it is based on the novel “Pride and Prejudice” by one of my favourite authors, Jane Austen. Basically, its about a really obnoxious, sexy and extremely wealthy man unexpectedly falling in love with the protagonist Elizabeth Bennet. Elizabeth is one of those “wild” girls, I guess you could say, since she defies any typical female conventions with her attitude. IT’S JUST GREAT OK.

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4) Joseph Fiennes in Shakespeare in Love

Hot Damn. Would you look at him. First, no one in the world would understand my love for William Shakespeare. No one. If I could meet one person, dead or alive, it would be him. I’m talking serious infatuation with this brilliant man. Joseph Fiennes played William Shakespeare brilliantly. He portrayed Shakespeare exactly how I’ve always imagined him to be. Intelligent. A ladies man. Romantic. Oh no, don’t get me started. But those eyes?? I think I’m going into cardiac arrest?? There is some nudity so BEWARE. This movie is about a relationship between Shakespeare and Viola de Lesseps, played by Gwyneth Paltrow, while he is writing Romeo and Juliet. This movie won 7 academy award including for Best Picture, if this doesn’t convince you I don’t know what will!

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5) Gale Hansen in Dead Poets Society

Gale Hansen played Charlie Dalton AKA Nuwanda (picture below). I think what I love most about him is that he gave himself an alter ego, Nuwanda, I mean, where did he even come up with that? Also the lightening bolt on the chest…why is this a major turn on? Charlie Dalton is that typical bad boy prankster and ladies man. He also so sweet and really cares about his friends. You get to see both sides of him in this movie and he really is amazing. This movie is about a teacher that inspires his students at this really uptight academy. It’s a coming of age movie. There are ups and down but Charlie Dalton always manages to keep me smiling. He is almost like an anchor in the movie, in my opinion. The professor, John Keating, was played by Robin Williams. This is my favourite movie Robin Williams has done and his acting has influenced me in so many ways. He will truly be missed. R. I. P

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Spring Look: Shimmery Purple/Pink Eye Makeup

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(Picture taken in natural and artificial lighting)

Products used:

Eyetini Eye Cordial Shadow + Base in Ambrosia 

Physicians Formula Shimmer Strips Custom Eye Enhancing Shadow and Liner in Warm Nude

Mac eye shadow in Wedge (matte neutral brown)

Mary Kay Mineral Eye Color in White Lily

Rimmel Scandaleyes Waterproof Kohl Kajal Eyeliner in 005 Nude

Starlooks Gem Pencil Eyeliner in Amethyst 

Buxom Sculpted Lash Mascara in Blackest Black

Steps:

1) Apply the Eyetini base all over the eyelid to just above the crease. Make sure to blend around the edges for a softer look.

2) Apply the lightest shimmery white shade in the Physicians formula eye shadow palette on the brow bone for a highlight.

3) Apply Mac’s “Wedge” in the crease of your eye for some definition. Be light handed to make it look subtle.

4)The darkest brown the in Physicians formula palette should be added in the outer “V” of the eye and blended towards the crease to darken it and create more definition.

5) Apply the Rimmel eyeliner on the bottom lash waterline. This makes your eyes look bigger and awake.

6) Just below the waterline, apply the Starlooks Amythest eyeliner to give your eye some sparkle and a pop of colour.

7) Apply Mary Kay eye shadow in White Lily in the inner corner for a highlight.

8) Finish the look with a couple of coats of  your favourite mascara, mine just happens to be Buxom’s Sculpted Lash Mascara.

Beauty Favourites

This has to be one of my favourite topics I’ve ever written about EVER! I LOVE makeup, skin care and body product to the point that it’s kind of an addiction. A seriously terrible addiction that has put a “dent” in my spending account. Notice the quotations around “dent”… well it might have been a bit more than a dent..oops. Pictured below are a ton of my favourite things that I’ve been using mostly in December and January that I’ve really loved.

Image1) Clarins HydraQuench Cream for normal to dry skin. I have serious dry skin to the point that I have peeling on my nose and forehead. I’m pretty sure those areas are supposed to be the oiliest parts of out faces but nope, my skin doesn’t care. It wants to be stubborn beyond belief. I’ve tried a lot of high end and drugstore moisturizers but this is definitely my favourite. It has a gel consistency and only a small amount is needed to hydrate my face. The best part is that it is absorbed very fast which is great to use right before applying makeup. Would recommend for dry skin only since it does leave skin shinny.

Retails for C$ 49.50

2) Real Techniques brow brush. No brow brush compares I swear. I love filling in my brows with a powder or a denser gel colour with this brush. It spreads evenly and is great for shaping the brows  especially in places you could use a little extra definition!

Retails for $18.00 US in starter set kit.

3) Tarte Amazonian Clay 12 hour blush in flush. It’s described at a “pinkish berry” online. I’d say it’s more of a baby pink really. I was a little disappointed with the lack of “berry” but I still wore it everyday so I guess that doesn’t mean much! Love this colour for everyday wear it goes with any makeup look since it’s such a natural pink. So pigmented and it really does last so long. I don’t know if 12 hours is accurate but I can honestly day I never worry about how I look when I wear the Tarte blushes. This is just one of the many I own, I’m seriously obsessed with them!

Retails for C$31.00

4) Pixi Beauty Bronzer in Subtly Suntouched. Wasn’t too keen on this when I first received it in my ipsy bag (referral link here sorry had to). I fell in love with this fast! I usually don’t love shimmery bronzers since I normally use the matte ones only to contour but I started using this to contour just to see how noticeable the shimmer would be but it just gives your cheeks a nice glow! It looks very natural and it’s not muddy looking at all on anyone with a pale complexion.

Retails for C$27.00

5) Buxom Full-on Lipstick in Amsterdam. This was an impulse buy but I ended up adoring it! This is one of my many “nudes”. My nudes aren’t everyone’s typical pale colours. I’m not much of a fan of the concealer-no-lips look so my nude’s I guess are considered pinks. It’s definitely a pink mauve colour but on my lips it even has a peachy shine to it. Very unique! Or I just completely confused you. Sorry, I suck at describing colours. It’s very beautiful though trust me! It also does that tingly plumping thing I like.

Retails for C$23.00

6) Lancome Juicy Tube in Simmer. This is a really nice nude rosy peach colour with very fine shimmer. It almost looks duochrome with the peach and pink! Love pairing this with the Buxom lipstick mentioned above. Not too sticky and not too think either. Wish it wasn’t in a tube though but that isn’t a big deal.

Retials for C$23.00

7) Buxom Sculpted lash mascara in blackest black. I just have the little baby mini size but I’m most definitely buying the full size after! It gives my lashes volume and length to the extreme!! The best part is that it doesn’t clump. That’s one of my pet peeves. I hate the spider leg look although I know to each his own. This mascara has a super weird “S” shaped brush I never thought I’d like!

Retails for C$24.00

8) Tarte be MATTEnificent amazonian clay palette. I am obsessed with this palette!! Matte eye shadows are my favourite to wear to create natural everyday looks so this palette was the most perfect and obvious choice for me to buy. Pink and purple toned shades are included along with some creams and browns. The two matte black and brown liner colours really pulled the palette together. Such a variety of looks can be created. The shadows are so pigmented on the eye and very smooth. The blush in “elevated” is a nice everyday dusty rose. I can see myself getting a lot of use from this palette!

Retails for C$43.00

9) Prada Candy Perfume. I got this for Christmas and I’ve been treasuring it since. It smells like licorice and candy and floral and I’m crying while I type this because I love it so much. Don’t judge me but I think I’ve fallen in love with a bottle of perfume. I love the lasting power of the perfume too. I can honestly say I smell it on myself all day long. Apparently, according to sephora, the notes are Caramel, Musk, Vanilla, Benzoin. What even is Benzoin?

Retails for C$96.00 (1.7 oz)

All prices are in Canadian dollars, sorry Americans. I used sephora.com and the brands website for the prices. Hope you liked what you read and are intrigued to try something new! Let me know what to try next? I’m seriously desperate for more beauty products in my life!

Thanks for Reading!

-Tam

10 Best and Favourites of 2013

2013 is almost over or over already depending on when I finally decide to get off my lazy ass and write this list! It’s been an eventful year, a lot of happiness and a lot of heartbreak. I hope your … Continue reading

Album Alphabet

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Yes, that is my record player, my pride, my joy etc. I love music, but who doesn’t? I’m just making this blog post to share some of my favourite music with all of you because music is the universal language and maybe after listening to some of my favourite albums, you’ll get me a bit more. I only posted under the letters of albums I actually thought were worthy to be a favourite and under letters I could acutally find an album name. I mean, is there even an album that starts with a Q?? It was hard narrowing it down, some of my favourite albums start with the same letter but whatever, I picked mostly only one. Strange how showing someone your favourite song is like bearing your soul isn’t it? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea then…. too late to go back now.

A- Abbey Road or AM. This was a hard decision I mean have you listened to the new Arctic monkeys album?? At first I was like bleh and then I was like meh and now I’m like HJBSDFUIABEGLKNEAGVNSFOEA HOLY CRAP SO GOOD. And not including a classsic like Abbey Road is a slap in the face to music everywhere.

B- Bon Iver, Bon Iver. Need I say more?? I mean, it won a Grammy for a reason. Listen to “Holocene” first.

C- Chutes too narrow. The Shins just have some of the best lyrics in the world and the song “Pink Bullets” made it into my top ten favourite songs of all time after 1 listen.

D- Doolittle. Wikipedia describes the Pixies as “indie rock, psychedelia, noise rock, and surf rock” and I honestly couldn’t have said it better myself (if you’re into that sort of thing).

E- Everything in Transit. Jack’s Mannequin is very dear to my heart. It gives me nostalgia for when I was in high school and its just lovely. Also some of the greatest lyrics EVER. “Mixed Tape” was the song that started it all and the rest of the album is what made me stay forever.

F- Fleet Foxes. Self titled album as a first album is kinda a big deal. It’s releasing yourself into the world for the first time and saying “Hello world this is us!!” I think it does a perfect job with showing the world their folk sound without it being too old fashion.

G- Gossamer. I couldn’t NOT include this album. It’s been such a success this year and “Take a Walk” has been played in the background of one too many commercials. Truth be told, I’m really proud of them. I feel like a proud mom, been with them since Manners and when they were releasing EPs.

H- Humbug. Not my favourite Arctic Monkeys album but a great one to say the least.

I- Is this it. My all time favourite Strokes album probably. No, I’d say definitely. Do I have to pick a favourite? Ugh, fine I’d say “Someday”.

J- Junk of the heart. Love me some of the Kooks. They are seriously a great Rock band and they just happened to be British so it’s basically a win-win! Cute accents, what’s not to like? Oh and the music is good too…

K- Kid A. I’m going to be completely honest with you, I couldn’t choose a favourite Radiohead album. I just choose this because I had an empty letter K. Still a great album though am I right?

L- Led Zeppelin iii (special mention to Led Zeppelin iv). This was super hard for me since Led Zeppelin is one of my favourite bands of ALL TIME. I had to choose this album though because of the song “Tangerine” which started it all for me. Such a beautiful and feel good song. Brings back memories.

M- Merriweather post pavillion. Studio album courtesy of Animal Collective. “In the Flowers” literally reminds me of poetry and art in musical form and it makes me feel like I’m floating. It’s basically a drug trip for your ears.

N- Neon Bible. Arcade Fire makes me happy to be Canadian.

O- OK computer. Another Radiohead album because how does one just choose… one?

Help me out, I couldn’t pick any albums I loved very much for the next couple of letters. I couldn’t just pick any old album, you know what I mean?

P Don’t have a favourite yet but I have a good feeling Lorde’s studio album Pure Heroine will be taking the place.

Q

R

S- Suck it and see (special mention: sigh no more and the suburbs). This is a hard one for me if you didn’t notice. A tie between Arctic Monkeys, Mumford and Sons and Arcade Fire. I almost cried making this decision but Arctic Monkeys are one of my favourite bands and this is probably my favourite album they have ever made so.

T- Torches. An excellent debut album by Foster the people. It did really well and deservedly so. A favourite: Helena Beat.

U ????

V- Vampire Weekend. Self titled first album but honestly in my opinion, their best album. It also probably no secret, if you’ve read my previous Osheaga blog post, that I’m completely in love with the lead singer Ezra Koenig. I just think he is a brilliant song writer and I’m pretty sure they inspired all current Indie bands to step up their game a  little bit. I can’t fault a single song and I can’t pick a favourite but listen to “Walcott”.

W- Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. My favourite Phoenix album. Most of my favourite albums I guess are the ones that made me fall in love with a band and this is definitely that album.

I’m not even going to attempt to find albums for the last few letters.

X

Y

Z

Thanks for reading! Recommend me some music if you’d like, I’m open to anything.

-Tamara

My Coffee Shop Experience: Expectations vs. Reality

ImageI’m here to ruin your romantic notion of coffee shops in one blog post. Wow, that sounded a lot more condescending than I planned it to be. But seriously, if there is one thing I can talk to you about, it’s coffee shops. Being a University student you tend to spend a lot of time around caffeine and you tend to spend a lot of time finding places to do work or study that isn’t anywhere near home. Home is where there is internet and actual fun which you can’t be a part of since you’re a University student and you have to learn and be an adult. My advice is don’t grow up. There are so many glamorous perceptions given to coffee shops in literature, movies etc. I’m here to tell you like it really is, no matter how depressing it may be, stay seated you are in for a bumpy ride.

Expectation #1: A quiet coffee shop where I can do some reading and get most of my work done.

Reality: How about instead you get a loud cacophony of coffee machines brewing and boiling, pre-teens “instagraming” coffee cups and shrieking with their friends about the new one direction song and the annoying clicking of computer keys from the other 15 students there who thought this was a good idea. Oh no and now they are blaring the new miley cyrus song…GET ME OUT OF HERE.

Expectation #2: Maybe I’ll bump into a cute boy/girl in line for coffee, he/she will buy me a cup and then we can fall in love and blah blah blah.

Reality: Life is not a Nicholas Sparks novel, no matter how much I want it to be, things like this just don’t happen (Side note: if they have happened to you please teach me your ways!!). The boys/girls may be cute at the coffee shop (which they usually are) but chances are they are there to study too. Just in case they aren’t though, continue staring and willing him/her mentally to walk over and talk to you. It hasn’t really worked yet has it? Darn.

Expectation #3: Delicious coffee and fresh snacks and treats.

Reality: Did you say bitter black coffee and stale bran cookies?

Expectation #4: Well, at least it’s less expensive than Starbucks right?

Reality: That will be $ 2497296492692 dollars and 50 cents please for this EXTRA SMALL coffee. Oh by the way, we also charge separately for the cream and sugar did I forget to tell you that?

Expectation #5: A nice place to have a study group with friends.

Reality: Ha. Try finding an empty table first. I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure the good tables are ALWAYS occupied. Seriously I think people camp out outside to get the best tables the night before.

All in all, coffee shops- maybe not the best place to study? Although I do love coffee and the atmosphere of little cafes, don’t expect too much from them. Get your coffee and get out before it’s too late!!! Joking of course, the sad thing is I still walk in to coffee shops expecting too much. I hate you reality.

Thanks for reading! Leave me a comment of wonderful coffee flavours you’ve tried I’m itching to start expanding my horizons.

-Tamara

My Osheaga 2013 Experience

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Earlier this month I attended Osheaga music festival in Montreal for about 3 days and let me tell you this, it was the highlight of my summer. It was a crazy couple of days paired with some crazy music and … Continue reading